After Divorce

I terminated my lawyer after divorce was done. I chose to self act by filing the Affidavit of assets and means on my own. Cant afford any more legal fees if this carried on, if he kept trying ways delay things, I told myself.

We were given a month to prepare the documents. I asked for sole custody, care and control of the kids. I asked to keep the Fernvale flat as I need to give my kids a house to stay and grow up. We also need to state our direct and indirect financial contrbutions to this family during our 12 years marriage. Supporting proof was required.

Everyday 2 or 3 days after work, I took my time to type out all the details slowly at home. Put aside 30 min or so to do it every night after finishing the housework and letting kids sleep. It wasnt easy. I had to find back all the receipts that I had pay for kids expenses like childcare fees, student cares fees. Print out bank statements, CPF deducted for flat loan, monthly house bills etc.

In between, one day he emailed me. He asked me unblock him as he said he missed kids. He wanted bring them out for dinner on a Sunday. I unblocked him since he was asking for kids. We agreed 5pm for him to pick kids up for dinner.

5pm he never came. I never texted to ask him. Give him some time allowance, I told myself. 5plus he texted me. “Sorry I think I cant come as I need to continue drive to earn money”. I never replied him. I told my kids he couldnt make it as his work held him up. I brought my kids out for dinner.

Few days later, he texted me saying he wanted bring kids go cycling at ECP. Fine, I arranged with him was also on a Sunday. But he never showed up. He didnt text to say if he was coming or not. He totally forgotten the agreed date, I guessed. I chose not to text ask him. I asked mil if he was at Fernvale. Mil said he was sleeping inside his room. I told my kids we would go to hillion mall and used O Bike to cycle around the area ourselves.

I cherish every weekend with my kids. I try my best to bring them enjoy different activities and have fun. I love my kids.

Seeing them happy is the most important thing to me. When I see them smile, I smiled. I realised I felt much happier than before. I had gulits of them not having a father by them to love them. But they just didnt show out they were sad.

My youngest daughter started writing letters again. I was kinda worried when I saw her writing. I thought she missed her father. But no, she was writing to me.

It was my kids encouragement that kept me going to try be a good mother. 🙏❤

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