The next few days, he waited me at my office and Segar flat downstair. I didnt reply his texts or emails. I refused to see him. I knew if I get to see him again, I would be softhearted by his sweet talks.
One of his emails wrote ” Im really sorry. It was out of my foolishess. I promised I wont break your heart again. Please give us another chance. I would make up for u and kids. I will never let you down again”
When I left office after work to walk out the building, he grabbed my hand from behind. I need to talk to you. I refused. He pulled me aside. “Are u heading home now? Let me give you a lift. Hear me out for last time” he said. I got into his car. When driving back to Segar, he held my hands and called me BB. That was what he used to call me. He asked me give him one last chance, for sake of kids. I didnt answer.
When I got up to the flat, he followed me behind. I refused to let him enter the flat. I screamed. I told him I would call police. He told me go ahead. Indeed I called. Police came. He F me with a angry face when he saw the police. Police said I have no right to refuse him into the flat as we were still legally married. FML. I let him into the flat.
That night, he kept pushing onto me. Kids were sleeping. I couldnt scream. I felt cheap. I let him do on me. In my mind, images of him and Cindy having sex in hotels kept flashing into my mind. I felt cheap.
The next day, I took my daughter hp to work. Sub-consciously, I opened his emails again. One email was written by him to Cindy dated two days ago.
“Ever since you left, I tried to make up with her. But damages done too much. I hurt her too much. She wont forgive me definitely. I miss the times we had together. This one year with you was unforgetable. Though we had hurdles in between, I felt so happy with you. If things werent so complicated, we would definitely suit each other life. You will probably be the last gal I ever loved. You ever ask me if I love you. I didnt answer you back then. But now I want tell you I love you and will always do. Love, Joe”
I had been treated for long like an idiot, a fool, a ATM machine, a sex toy, a spare option.
I was in office, trying to keep my tears from flowing out. I felt so suffocating. I felt like Im being tied up and I couldnt breathe nor move. I felt like just walk out the office and go somewhere to die.
My boss came over my desk. She noticed I was not in good state. She didnt question me. She asked me if I was not feeling well, I could go home rest.
I looked at her. I cried out. I couldnt bear with it anymore. I felt mentally unstable. She hugged me. She cried when she saw me in such bad shape.
“Wake up, Vivian. You need to wake up. Whats the point that you have to make yourself go through all these” That was what she said.
Indeed, I had to wake up. I had been like in a long nightmare, illusions and trapped by lies for long.
“Im sorry, Winnie. Please withdraw my cancellation and go ahead with divorce paperwork” I called my lawyer.