With 3 kids onboard, we began to lead a different lifestyle. Most of time after work, we would head home to take care them. Weekends outings were never a miss for the kids.
I found myself a new job right after my confinement and worked for 3 years.
Company had organised staff retreat to Vietnam and BKK. I asked him along and paid for his share. We were still happy.
While his money went to his car loan and petrol, mine was on kids and household expenses.
I hired a maid to do housework, while mil took care the kids. I like to have family outings. Most of times, I would plan the activities and did the bookings.
It wasnt really easy for me… paying kids childcare fees, expenses, maid salary, fwl, giving mil and my own parents monthly allowance. I was also struggling making monthly cc repayment to banks. Monthly broadband, cable tv, my and his hp bills were also on me.
But I kept silent coz I didnt want him feel any financial stress. At times before he got his pay, he would ask me lend him some money. Certain times he also would ask me help pay his car loan. Most of times, he never returned. I didnt mind coz he was my husband.
But he could have money to continue do his car modifications. He could go out car testing and meetings with friends at nights.
There was once, I really could not pay for maid salary in time, I asked for his help. “I have no money to help” was his reply.
I went to borrow from my sister.
At a point, I delayed 2 months hp bills unpaid. His line got disconnected. He came home angrily. I said I forgot to pay. But fact was, I didnt have enough money. Again, I went to borrow from my sister.
Our alone times got much lesser. I didnt go out with friends. My time was given to him as 1st priority while kids were placed 2nd. At times he would go out with friends and we brought kids along.
I knew he prefer friends company. On one of my birthdays, I chose to book a KTV room and asked him invite his friends to join. I paid for everything but I didnt mind. He was still happy.
Every year, I would submit his IRAS tax for him. On and off, when he had difficulty handling some maths calculations for his sales, I would put aside my work during office hours to help him. At home, I would help him with paperwork.
My time was devoted to him and kids only. I thought a married woman life with kids would be like this.
But I was wrong.